Comic Relief on the Way to Work
For all who need a little "mood pick-me-up", I have the following story (happened just this morning).
I am waiting for the bus or marshrutka, whichever comes first. (Under "theater season" in this post is a description of a "marshrutka" for non-Bulgarians who may have missed it.) 15 minutes go by. Nothing. Finally the marshrutka comes and it is already crowded as you can imagine. Well, I decide to get on anyway (I am already late for work... again)... one more person gets in after me. I think to myself, "This has to be it, no more people can fit here." Well, actually "there is always room for more" seems to be the motto of the marshrutka drivers... so we continue, stop again to "welcome" more passengers on board. 2 more get on. On our way again. Another stop. Three more prepared to get on (mind you, no-one has gotten off during this time). Finally, the driver decides to say something to the last person wanting to get on (a woman).
Driver: Шефке, май ще трябва да изчакаш следващата. Тук май няма да можеш да се качиш. (Translation: Boss, I think you will have to wait for the next one. I don't think you will be able to get on here.)
Woman: Е, айде сместете се само да се кача аз и за следващите вече няма. (Translation: Well, can't you squeeze together a little bit, so I can get on, and then we won't let anyone else on.)
So being the accommodating people that we are, we squish together and by some miracle, she manages to get on (well, leaning against the door). We continue. Then the fun part comes. We get stuck in traffic and at some point the driver decides to switch lanes, so he says:
Driver: Шефке, я погледни идва ли нещо от дясно и ако не идва да се престроя. (Translation: Boss, can you look to see whether anyone is approaching in the right lane, and if not, I will switch lanes.)
Woman: Идва един. Ааа, сега не идва. Давай! (Translation: There is one car. Ooook, now there is no-one. You can go!)
By this point, half of us are laughing... We are squeezed in so tight, but, hey, at least we are having fun! :) We have an assistant driver too... and we are all in this together. What camaraderie!
What the woman says next though completely does me in.
Woman: Може ли само малко място да ми направите, така за левия крак. (Translation: Could you just make a little room, just for my left foot.)
So there you have it! Definitely comic relief on the way to work. And I counted 30 people together with the driver.... all in a passenger van!?! Anyone else got funny "commute" stories to share?
6 comments:
mwahahahaha,
I guess nothing has changed since the 90s in this respect..."Packt like sardines in a crushd tin box" as Radiohead would say.
I like those stories, where one's initial indignation morphs into an unrestrained sense of farce and one can't stop laughing.
DJ, correct me if I am wrong, but this story in itself is a microcosm of the way things "work" in Bulgaria.
The unabashed familiarity of the driver, the surreal egalitarianism of the van space (30 people??? isn't the van capacity 10 or sth?) makes you wanna think about the futility of social norms that only inhibit your inner child.
As a matter of fact, this makes me wanna write a parody of the De Niro movie, called "The Marshrutka Driver". Shefke, are you talking to me...mrudni, che ne vizhdam.
Yeah, to some extent you are right to point out that the story is an embodiment of how things work in general in Bulgaria. The only aspect I slightly disagree with is the fact that outside that "egalitarian" space of the marshrutka (where the motto "all for one" seems to apply), the unity--or "camaraderie" as I termed it--falls apart. People tend to be a lot more self-involved, distanced, individualistic outside of that space, which is what amazes me (or better to say, saddens me) sometimes.
And one last thought:
Hardship bonds but only in narrower situations (like the marshrutka commute, for example); when applied more broadly--to life in general--it seems to distance people from one another (as seems to be the case here, through the transition period).
I think only Bulgarians can really grasp the humor in your story. I could just imagine and see the picture in my head very clearly. It's one of those Borat kind of moments, isn't it?
I agree with you on that. Nietzsche was wrong: whatever does not kill you, makes you cynical and weary and alienated, not stronger.
To the point where you stop valu(e)ing politeness and consideration (even fake, as in the States).
The other factor is of course, the fact that as people grow older, they tend to increase their private space and decrease their public space, which makes them cold and distant in a way...
I believe you've touched upon this in earlier posts.
Silvia: True. It's definitely Bulgarian or, perhaps, Balkan humor.
concerned: I always did wonder whether age does play a factor in distancing people. Can't say I have come up with a definitive opinion on that. Perhaps it does, but then I think of countries in South America (Brazil for example) or even some of the Mediterranean countries in Europe (like Spain, Italy, Portugal), and I don't necessarily see that rule apply there. Another thing I just thought of: the city versus the country. People tend to be a lot more alienated (sometimes, hostile even) in the city. You go to a smaller town or village, and it seems like a different world.
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