Home is Where the [____] Is

Yesterday, I finished a Knowledge@Wharton article on one of my favorite topics: where is home once you have spent a significant portion of your life outside the country you were born in? Is there such a thing or are you sentenced to the life of a global nomad? And is the longing to go "home" (meaning the country you were born in) completely irrational? Should you stay or should you go back?

Readers who have followed this blog know that I often think about and discuss these things. After all, in 2006 I made the decision to go back to Bulgaria, at least temporarily, to see for myself what it would be like to live and work there. To check out the real life, so to speak, not the life fringed with nostalgia that I remembered from before leaving to come to the U.S. for college, when my parents took care of me, I didn't have to worry about earning a living, paying the bills, and all the other things that "grown-ups" have to deal with. I was also determined once and for all to answer the question, "Where should I live long-term?" Bulgaria, the U.S., or somewhere else altogether?

The conclusion I came to after a year back home is that the question is incorrectly worded and that there is no answer really. I have lived comfortably and quite happily in the U.S. I saw that I could live quite happily in Bulgaria too. I have enjoyed living in other countries, like Germany, Spain and Zimbabwe. Each one has its positive and negative sides. No location is perfect. What I have found though is that the more the search for the "place to settle down in" continues, the more places I explore, the more difficult the decision becomes. As your eyes are opened to more opportunities, you want to take all of these into account when making your next job search or school decision. More opportunity is fantastic, but at the same time makes everything all that more complicated. I am sure that if I had simply stayed in Bulgaria I would not even have these things on my mind right now. I am not saying that's a good thing though. Of course, I would rather be broad- than narrow-minded. But as people often claim, it is the fools that are most happy. Does knowing and experiencing so much take away from our ability to be truly happy in any one place?

When I am here I miss things from Bulgaria - the more relaxed atmosphere, the social life, even the way things are dysfunctional sometimes. When I was in Bulgaria I missed the multicultural environment in the U.S., the hustle and bustle, the ability to achieve once you set your mind on something, and not be impeded by stupid little things. In a sense, I am always on the wrong side of the ocean. Since Bulgaria though, I have come to accept this fact. It won't change. I have also come to accept that concluding where to live long-term is irrational. These days, with people moving around so frequently and so many global opportunities, I don't think there is such a thing as long-term settling down in one place. Most of our generation has turned into global citizens (however cliched that may sound) and instead of making the decision to move from once city in Bulgaria to another, or maybe one city in Europe to another, we are criss-crossing continents, and this is normal. So where I go after school (a question I have gotten from quite a few people already) will depend largely on circumstances and my priorities at the time I graduate, be they personal or professional. We'll see. I am not afraid of the questions marks like I used to be. It may be tough not knowing where your life will take you next sometimes, but it is also extremely exciting.

So, where is home? To me, home is where I feel I can truly be myself (that "self" having evolved somewhat in the last 10 years). Home is also where I have people around me that I can call at any hour of the day or night and know they will be there for me. Home is where I can grow as a person and not simply tread in one place. By these definitions, home can be (and is) many different places. I don't have to pick one. I know that now.

What defines home for you?