Today...
Today I just feel kind of empty. I hope the feeling goes away. It's been good to see all my friends here, but somehow I just can't shake off the feeling that I don't belong here. Which in turn makes it very hard to imagine that I will be spending another two years on this side of the Atlantic, starting very soon. Sigh. I know it will be different in an academic environment, both atmosphere-wise and socially, but still... why can't I be thrilled instead of semi-excited?
6 comments:
This too shall pass...
I was looking at your labels and it looks like you have found the answer.
Then I found this quote from your archives:
"So, from here I start the series of posts from my home country. After two weeks in Sofia, I am slowly starting to feel less like a visitor and more like a citizen of my hometown."
So, I guess what I am trying to say is, the adjustment period is always awkward and makes you feel irrelevant. Makes sense to me.
Thanks for the moral support, really. Now I am going to take a nap... that's my "medicine" for down times like these. I guess it's also that I have too much time on my hands to think here... need to keep myself busy.
At the beginning, each move was exciting... Opportunity to see new places, meet new people, eat weird food, learn a new language, build up your life all over again. Well, now it feels like I have gone through this routine way too many times to feel upbeat about packing my bags every other year (if not more often). I guess the key to not feeling like I do is to look forward and not back... I find this incredibly hard to do
So you are going back to the States for couple more years. I hope its not too nosy, but what are going to study?
Gok: Exactly how I feel. Although to a degree moving to a new place and the opportunity to meet new people is exciting... it definitely isn't as much as it used to be (comparing this to when I left for college or even when I went abroad my junior year). Hopefully after these two years of school, I can move somewhere more permanently. It just seems silly not to finish what I started... since I have been on this graduate school path for 3 years now, from the first time I started seriously considering it. Bulgaria will always be there. Something I keep telling myself when I feel down or weird about coming back to the US again.
Niki: No, not nosy at all. Going to be doing a Master's in Economics and Public Policy at Princeton. NJ awaits! :) I remember at one time you too were toying with the idea of returning to Chicago, is that still on the books? Or are you now happy to be staying in BG?
Economics at Princeton is a great choice! Well, I am really considering going back to Chi Town (NYC and DC are also in the running), but this is going to be sometime next year. Not quite sure whether I am going to work at a firm or do a LL.M. first. Recently I have been thinking about the academic world. Maybe the long hours at my firm are playing their part ;)
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