Estrangement in Bulgarian Society
This morning I witnessed the following scene: an old lady (probably in her late 70s or early 80s) with a walking cane was trying to cross the street in the middle of construction of tram tracks (which has been going on for a few weeks now). The problem was that the construction people had not thought of creating a temporary bridge or walkway of some sort, so people have to literally jump over recently installed tracks and through dug-out holes a foot or so (30-40cm) in depth. So the old lady was struggling to make these maneuvers. Every step with her walking cane took her at least 5 seconds. At the same time, people were simply passing her by, breezing right past her as if she didn't exist. That saddened me. As I neared her (since I was crossing in the opposite direction), I offered her my hand as support to make the last steps to the pavement. She was totally surprised, but immediately started offering words of gratitude and blessings. (She said something to the effect of, "Thank you very much. May you have much health, my child." Благодаря много. Да си живо и здраво детето ми. )
As I walked away I thought to myself: How simple it is to do something good, to help someone, to make someone happy even for a moment. The sad part is that unfortunately Bulgarian society, as I have come to notice, has become a lot more individualistic and selfish to an extent. With the changes that have taken place since the fall of Communism, the economic hardships that most have gone and still go through on a daily basis, we have become estranged to each other. I remember when neighbors used to regularly visit each other. Now, we all hide behind our apartment walls, often barely saying hello as we pass each other in the hall or elevator. We simply ignore what goes on around us and pretend we don't see (just as was the case with the old lady). I share this here not because I am trying to make myself look like a saint for helping her; on the contrary, what I have come to realize and what has shocked me is that I feel that inevitably I have somewhat started to turn into those uncaring people that would rather ignore than do something.
With my return here I learned that I can't always be polite, make way for people on the street, or wait for a customer service rep to take notice of me in a bank, for example, because then you are just trodden upon and don't get anything done. To a degree, you need a little bit of "non-caringness" to live here. That's the simple truth. However, that should not reach the point of complete callousness or selfishness. Despite the somewhat harsh reality here at times and the bullshit, we need to remain human. I need to remain human and myself. Doing what I did today reminded me of that. It also made me feel good inside.
3 comments:
This was very nice of you. Just taking the time to notice that this woman was struggling is admirable. Most people just don't give a damn. I have noticed that generally people in Bulgaria lack basic manners when it comes to dealing with strangers. You can see it the way people drive, the way they talk to you in places where customer service is involved, etc. Most Bulgarians have never seen decent attitude, which may be part of the reason for this. The funny thing is, if you are nice to them they think you have a problem or you are simply kissing ass. Last week (i think) I helped an elderly woman with her grocery bag, while she was trying to get off the No. 5 tram (the steps were too high for her). She could not stop thanking me. Helping her was the simplest thing to do. Unfortunately, its quite uncommon in BG.
Yes, so easy but so rare. It is definitely sad... and there are numerous examples, once you start paying attention. Another one from this morning: a man gets on the bus with crutches (two of them, mind you) and no-one gets off of their seat to let him sit instead. I was fuming inside. Finally, this older lady (probably in her 60s) gave him her seat. Sometimes I am just completely dumbfounded... and then some of my friends here say, "Well, that's just the way it is." I don't think that's a justification. Anyway, sorry for the pile-on, but I could go on and on on this topic... I get really affected.
I agree with you. It takes so little to do something as simple as helping an elderly cross the street. Something that you said about neighbours dropping in on each other really struck a chord with me. These are the memories of my childhood, my parents and their friends huddled in our small but cozy kitchen (sometimes only illuminated by candles as the power was out) talking about art, discussing politics and arguing about some philosophical idea. This doesn’t seem to happen anymore and whenever I go back to Sofia, my friends and family tell me that I am romanticizing in my memories. I think that might be true but I still believe people have changed to a degree and do not have the same community as they used to.
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