"Tall, double-shot, vanilla, skim, no-foam, extra-hot latte" - now with a calorie count

As if things at Starbucks weren't confusing enough already with the millions of options for what used to be a simple coffee, I recently noticed another evolution in their menu: calorie counts next to every drink on their menu. So, if you found yourself staring in confusion and at length at the menu before, now you can be doubly confused... for finding the correct price amidst all the calorie numbers can be a bit of a challenge.

I understand the company's aim to cater to weight-watching customers, but surely they could have made it all a little more user-friendly?

Women and Clothes (or How Things Can Easily Turn Ugly)

A morning of shopping this week brought me to the following conclusion: Clothes bring out the best and the worst in women. The best, because they can accentuate a woman's beauty and make the difference between your looking ordinary and your looking dazzling. The worst? Because when women shop they literally can turn into vultures. My first (and potentially last) visit to Forever 21 this week found me 1) waiting in a line that had 20 or more women in it, 2) witnessing women getting undressed in the middle of the store (up to their underwear) to try on clothes (guess the desperation of trying to find the perfect dress calls for radical measures), and 3) appalled at how some women would look at something and then simply discard it to the side (or even on the ground) to signal their disinterest. Add to this the few other times I have witnessed women almost fighting over pieces of clothing during sales, and you might start to understand why I hate shopping. I find the whole experience I just described appalling and somewhat embarrassing despite the fact that I am not personally involved.

Now when I see a woman who is beautifully dressed I can't help but picture her fighting over the prized piece of clothing in an overstocked and overcrowded store :)

Waiting for the End

Four days and three exams separate me from the summer (and what I termed as freedom, while counting down the days). And happy as I am that the school work will finally be over for a few months, on the one hand, I also find myself somewhat sad and pensive. I am left with thoughts about a few things:
1) How quickly the year flew by - it seems like yesterday that I first arrived, cliche or not. Did I make optimal use of my time here? Probably not, especially this semester, which was spent mostly "putting out fires" instead of looking ahead. Hope to be better about this next year.
2) How I will miss people that I have gotten to know here especially those I may not see at all next year (because they will be taking a year out to work). I guess, this has happened at every place and every stage of my education, but it's great to feel like you have a circle of friends you can lean on in both good and bad times.
3) That I have learned quite a bit, although I am still not certain as to exactly what I want to do after graduating (thankfully, still a year away). The coursework and conversations with people have opened my eyes to many more interesting opportunities, which of course comes with the burden of trying to narrow them down. Yes, the frequently present burden of choice in this day and age...But that is also what the summer is for. More exploration in a professional setting. Can't wait!
4) That I have gotten to know my strengths and weaknesses even better and was somewhat surprised by some of the findings. By far, I guess I learned that strengths and weaknesses evolve over time and what I used to be strong (or weak) at isn't necessarily the case any longer. Why? I am still to ponder that fact.

Waiting for the end or waiting for the beginning? I guess they often are the same thing.

Being Alone, Loneliness, and Independence

One of my biggest fears for a big part of my life has been of being alone for any prolonged period of time. Alone does not necessarily have to equal lonely. After all, you can be by yourself and not feel lonely at all. Or you might find yourself surrounded by people but still feel pretty lonely. But in my mind, at least connected to this fear, they are the same thing. Not having anyone to talk to, share thoughts and impressions with, be happy with, simply sit side by side in silence with. Apparently, I haven’t always felt this way. While in Bulgaria in 2006-2007, I happened upon an old essay I wrote when I was 11 or 12. In it, I claimed that I feel most at ease when I am by myself and enjoy my own company the most. I was somewhat surprised to read this because before my return I had always sought the company of others. In DC, I had always had roommates; prior to that, in college, I had lived in a dorm. So, I had always been surrounded by people and could simply not picture the situation in which I would not be.

Why do I bring this up now you might ask? I recently thought about this and realized that especially this semester I have spent a significant amount of time by myself (be it studying, eating meals, or just sitting at home after a long day). And I didn’t even really notice or when I did, I actually enjoyed being away from the crowds. So does that mean I am not afraid of being alone anymore? Not exactly. I am hoping that I have reached a happy medium though, in which, time alone helps me actually devote time purely to myself, allows me to internalize the things I am experiencing, and gives me a “safe haven” from the craziness of the daily routine. Which in turn hopefully allows me to bring the best of myself into my interactions with others.

Perhaps yoga (despite my lack of practice this semester) has something to do with this change. Or perhaps, ten years after leaving Bulgaria and my family, I have finally come to accept the full terms of being independent.

Enamored with Frida Kahlo

I had seen Frida Kahlo's work in very small doses several times before, but tonight was the first time that I viewed a more substantial amount in one sitting. The Philadelphia Museum of Art is hosting several of Frida Kahlo's paintings plus a number of personal photographs as one of its special exhibitions until May 18. As I entered the first crowded gallery room and donned the headphones for the audio narration, I thought to myself, "I look forward to this." Upon exiting, I thought, "This woman is amazing." I felt somewhat stunned and couldn't help replaying what I had seen in my head, simply staring off into space. (I think having her life story narrated at the same time as I viewed the paintings had a lot to do with that.) Her paintings are simple, yet powerful; straightforward, yet complex; autobiographical, yet applicable to so many different people, circumstances, and experiences. She was direct, she was honest, she expressed exactly what was on her mind - with no innuendos or hesitation. How often do we do that? How often do we express exactly what our fears and hopes are? It seems that we spend a great deal of our lives trying to hide our vulnerabilities. To me, Frida Kahlo embodies strength, but not only in the traditional way. She wasn't afraid to reveal her weaknesses (at least in her paintings) and, to me, that takes real strength.