Sofia in the Winter Time
Sofia can be pretty depressing during winter. I have always wondered why it appears more depressing to me than other cities. After all, many cities are gray, rainy/snowy, and dark during winter. Perhaps it's because it's "my city" (the one in which I was born) or perhaps it is because I know it much better than other cities and am able to make comparisons to what it looks and feels like during other times of the year. Although these things seem somewhat superficial to an extent. As I thought about this today, I realized that perhaps I feel this way because of something (or things) entirely different. To an extent, I always find Sofia a little bit depressing because I feel like a guest here (which, technically, I am). Although I have lived outside of Sofia for ten years now, this feeling still throws me off every time I come back. Similarly, it feels awkward to meet up with good friends just once or twice while I am here, for lack of time on both sides. It almost feels like I am just checking them off of some to-do list and moving on to the next item. It sucks! But this year I also noticed something else...the fact that nothing seems to change here. And I am not talking about new buildings, bars and restaurants cropping up, but rather about the way of life. A significant number of the people who hung out at bars, cafes and nightclubs ten years ago, still hang out at bars, cafes and nightclubs now. There is nothing wrong with that per se. I like it that people are social and like to go out, but sometimes I wonder if they actually want to get something more out of life, outside of the drinking and partying. Yes, maybe this makes me sound like a prune... or old or something, but I feel like people should be moving from one stage of their lives to the next, not be stuck in their teenage years forever. I realize that people are bound by certain constraints, which are greater for some than for others, but still ... I find the whole "standstill" quite depressing. It makes me wonder though why I didn't notice it while I was living here in 2006-07. I guess once you "go native", you lose the ability to view things more objectively. Or perhaps I have also changed since then.
2 comments:
This is a really interesting post. I don't visit as frequently as you, but I almost feel the opposite at times, like I haven't been gone at all. Then other times I am surprised at how fast time passes and how long it's been since I've chatted with my aunts, for example. Happy New Year
Happy New Year to you as well! What I usually take away when I go back to BG is that some things change but they seem to be the more superficial things - like places to go out, malls, new business parks, etc. I'm not so sure the general mood, wellbeing, and mentality of the people does, and those are critical to things improving over time. Most are still pretty grumpy and pessimistic, which is understandable to an extent. I guess what bothers me more though is the values that a lot of people in Bulgaria now espouse - the whole attitude that we need more things (latest cell phone model, expensive car) but not more knowledge about the world around us (or even our own history). It is disturbing when you ask teenagers, how many don't know what we celebrate on March 3 or who Cyril and Methodius are. Hopefully, things will change. But the trend as I see it now is not good.
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