A Tempting Sight

A destination that is quickly climbing up my list of must-see-soon sites:

Yosemite National Park

An Ongoing Complaint

Since when did people stop having time for friends and only for their “significant others”? Is there a certain age you cross after which all of a sudden you feel as if in a vacuum, separated from all your friends who are in their own vacuums? I think about this pretty often nowadays and I sometimes wonder if I am the only person who makes note of this, and not only that—who is actually enraged by this. Since when did chores, your job, grocery shopping, hanging out at home become more important than spending time with your friends? May be I have it wrong and everyone else has it right, but I can’t help feeling betrayed at moments. And I simply can’t seem to accept this state of affairs. Friends call me less frequently (and I often feel that if I didn’t pick up the phone to call them, they might not call for months). I could be wrong, but that’s the impression that I get. It’s the “I will call you later”, which often means “I will call you when I have less to do at work and my boyfriend/girlfriend is away”, not always, but often. I have noticed that friends call when something is not going right in their lives, especially with their significant others, and then they want to talk. Which is fine; I like being there for my friends and being able to help them out and I would do almost anything to see them happy, but I sometimes think: Why can’t we get together, call each other up, talk when we are happy and have good things to share?

One answer is that once people reach a certain stage in their relationship with their “significant other” (especially if they live together), they tend to rely and open up only to that one person. The significant other is the person who bears all the sorrows, happiness, frustrations, achievements, etc. of his/her partner. And people start closing up to others around them, even their best friends. They tend to share less and less with the people they used to share everything with. They now do everything through the significant other “lens” so to speak, always thinking of what your partner will say/think/do in a certain situation or in reply to a certain suggestion. That’s understandable, of course, you want to consider the wishes and preferences of the person you are with and you love and I admire that, but what I don’t understand is, how come there is less love, time, space for your other friends? I am not talking about casual acquaintances here, I am talking about the friends you shared your hopes, dreams, childhoods, college years, exhilarations with, the ones you could always count on to inspire you, listen to you, make you laugh, and help you out, no matter what. All of a sudden, you are too busy to pay attention, to care about what is happening in their lives, to try and reconnect…. and you drift further and further apart. I can’t say that I blame the people necessary; they are still the same people, but something changes, and that is what really bothers me. Why does that happen? Is it just with my group of friends, is it where I live, is it the United States? Or do people my age worldwide experience this phenomenon? The distance and the mobility don’t help either. I don’t know why it so turns out that most of the people who feel the same way I do, actually live in completely different cities (sometimes even countries). It is a dire situation…… (again, I exaggerate, but…I do take it badly).
The problem is that as I notice people closing up around me, I think “Well, why do I have to be the one making all the effort?” and I begin to stop trying. And I don’t want it to be that way. I don’t want to care less about my friends. I don’t want to stop trying to keep the connection, but what if there comes a point when you just have to let go? My mother has told me several times that I live too much in the past and with memories, rather than in the present….

May be she is right, but on the other hand, I think it is important to remember your past and carry some of those great memories to continue in your present.

The Value of Life (and my attempt to not get too philosophical)

Quick update: I managed to get sand in my shoes several times since the last post.

Every day, I think of more and more things I could write about, share my impressions of, express an opinion on... I have assembled a small collection of potential "stories". Well, today I decided to actually put one on paper (or should I say cyberspace?). I am reminded of what I am about to write every time I hear police sirens. Because police sirens in downtown DC frequently equal the procession escorting President Bush to his next destination. Several motorcycles, followed by several tainted-window SUVs, followed by several luxury limo-type cars (also with tainted windows), again followed by SUVs and motorcycles. (I am sure it is actually a perfectly symmetrical arrangement, all flashing in red and blue.) And it makes me wonder--here is this one man, protected by dozens of people and guns, while in other parts of the world tens (sometimes hundreds) of people are massacred every day... but hardly anyone pays attention, let alone does anything to protect or save these people. So are we in reality assigning different values to the lives of different individuals? And how can we be right in doing that when it just seems plain wrong?